♥ Mental ♥ Heart ♥

I’ll be just fine,
pretending I’m not.
I’m far from lonely,
& it’s all that i’ve got.
I was too blind to see that,
you were too deaf to hear me.
just know if I could go back,
this would all be different.
You must have mistaken me,
for someone just as fake as you -
We stare at broken clocks, the hands don’t turn anymore.
The days turn into night, empty hearts & empty places.
The day you lost him, I slowly lost you too.
Redesign me, state of the art.
Erase my mind, replace my heart I wanna start over.
Redefine me, take me apart. Change my mind, change my heart.

Cross my heart, I don’t want to die,
But heaven knows, it seems like i try. 
lost in a labyrinth, for weeks on end,
i live & learn from my mistakes, then forget them again.
got a feeling in my stomach & it just won’t quit,
it’s subtle as a shotgun, heavy as a brick. 
because i’m staring at the devil & the truth of it is,
he’s a lot more familiar than I’d care to admit. 
I’m sorry I let you down, I could use some poor excuse,
that’s when you stuttered something profound,
every word gets you a step closer to hell.
we all have our horrors & our demons to fight 
but how can I win, when I’m paralyzed?

oh underdog, just look at the mess you made
its such a shame I had to find you this way. 
revenge loves company, but three makes a crowd.
well now this could be the last of the last
so hold on tight & don’t look back.
I don’t care about the message, i don’t care for the rules -
when we were young we used to say,
that you only hear the music when your heart begins to break.
high up above or down below,
you’re too in love to let it go.
if you never try, you’ll never know
what you’re worth will ignite your bones.

& what if i can’t forget you?
i’ll burn your name into my skin
i tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it
i thought it’d be easy, but no one believes me.
i meant all the things i had said.
i’d say all the words that i know, just to see if it would show.
you are so empty, my thoughts are so tempting
i don’t know how it got so bad -
sometimes it’s so crazy, the nothing can save me.
but it’s the only thing that i have.
what makes your pain such an urgency?
now i want out, so plain to see,
once again my dear, a brand new tragedy.